If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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