She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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