I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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