honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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