I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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