just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
