I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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