Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
