my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
