dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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