ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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