I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
