He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
