one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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