you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
