Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
where am i from again
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
