Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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