His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
