I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
