Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
