you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I checked into jail on foursquare
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
