it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
