I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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