I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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