The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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