I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
