Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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