I didn't shave. On purpose
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
