Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The uberlube is also flammable
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
