i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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