She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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