I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
