i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
