ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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