Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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