He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize