Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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