You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
