I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
