Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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