Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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