So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
