so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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