I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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