I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
