Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
