Do you still have your period?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize