yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
