How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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