I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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