Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
