fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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