If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
