their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize