Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she smelled like a LAN party
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
