Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
