He felt like a one man threesome
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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