She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
