i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
