Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
