If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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