WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
