this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
