This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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