i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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