Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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