come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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