Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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