Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
