Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I will die if light touches me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
