Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize