I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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