New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
