everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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