Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
