how can u be prego again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
