He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
