they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
