Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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