So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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