Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
