Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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