I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
