Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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