yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Come share oat with me in your robe
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize